In Case of Zombies, RUN!!!

So, lately I've been thinking an awful lot about zombies, mostly because I've been watching the Walking Dead now that it's returned.  And my school started it's semi-annual game of Humans Vs. Zombies (which I did NOT participate in).  And later this year there will be a 2 mile Zombie run in my city where you have to run with flag football flags on and get past all the zombies without letting them take your flag.  And I might have purchased and currently be playing a video game involving zombies... 

Anyway, I've been giving a lot of thought to what I myself might do in a zombie apocalypse.  It's a troubling thought because I know that I myself am not very athletic and therefore my chances are already slimmer than those of my sports-enjoying counterparts.  So, the following is my plan for if/when zombies attack. I call it:

Kailyn's Super Awesome Zombie Apocalypse Plan

1) Grab ALL the protein bars --- In every zombie thing I've seen, the survivors always struggle to find food.  I feel like protein bars would be a good thing to have on hand.  Plus, they're light.

2) Get a hand gun, LOTS of ammo, and a knife/screwdriver/other sharp object --- The next biggest priority is to get weapons to kill the zombies with.  I don't think I'll have the expertise to be able to shoot a bigger gun, so a hand gun will work well, plus it's light.  Then, for tight spots, I can use the sharp object to get the zombies in the head.  I thought about getting a heavy blunt object to bash in heads, but I want to travel lightly.  So, that's why I'm choosing to go with the knife.

3) Find and befriend a doctor/nurse/medical student/veterinarian --- In every zombie scenario EVER, people get injured fighting off the undead.  Therefore, since I have no idea how to treat anything other than a small scrape (ointment and a band-aid , I need to partner with someone who understands how to treat people and/or animals that are injured.  

4) Find more people to trust, and STICK WITH THEM NO MATTER WHAT THAT IS IT! --- In all the zombie things I've watched, the trouble really starts once the group starts to turn on each other, or when they split into separate groups.  Also, let's be honest, I'm gonna be a wreck emotionally.  But, if I have someone I have to take care of or help survive, I'm gonna be more likely to keep a cool head.  I'm a nurturer, so if I have someone to nurture, I'll be more likely to survive myself.

5) DO NOT,  try to go and track down your family --- Now, don't get me wrong, I am super duper close to my family, and I will be worried sick. But in every zombie thing I've seen, once they go to far off cities looking for family, they get in trouble and their numbers shrink by like half.  So, I'll just have to hope and pray that it all works out for us.  

6) Find a secure place (preferably with food and water) to hunker down and wait this thing out --- This could be a remote farm, a reinforced super market, a bomb shelter, a former prison, etc.

7) Follow your instinct --- if someone seems like a crazy mad scientist, a trigger happy deserter, or a cannibalistic farm family, they probably are.  Do. Not. Trust. Them.  Ever.

8) Do not enter into a seemingly preordained, perfect-even-in-the-circumstances-of-killer-zombies relationship --- because at least one member of the cute couple always dies.  ALWAYS.  

9) Always be on the lookout --- For food, for weapons, for zombies, for anything.  

10) When in doubt, just RUN --- do I really have to explain this one? For goodness sake, there are ZOMBIES AROUND!

And that's what I've got so far.  I think it's a pretty solid plan.  Hopefully I'll never have to test it. Because let's be honest, I'll never really make it in a zombie apocalypse.  With my luck, I'll be the first one infected. *sigh*