Who's This Chick Anyway?

This page will be constantly updated.  Because God is constantly updating me.  

I'm Kailyn, a college student currently trying to make sense of this crazy world.  Trying to reconcile the desires of my heart to follow God and the limitations of myself apart from him, where I seem to always wander.  

I'm a girl who tries hopelessly to please others, without realizing that the only One who I truely want to please is already pleased in me, not based on my own merit but based on his.  

I'm trying to figure out how to use all these gifts God has given me, like an artist given a box full of art supplies, but who's sometimes too stubborn to read the instructions on how to make a masterpiece, too prideful to ask the Master Artist how it's done.  

I trip. I fall.  I stumble.  I try to get up on my own and I can't.  But God is always there, arms outstreched, ready to catch me.  Sometimes I'm just so blinded by my own lack of balance that I forget he's there to help me up.  

I have to be reminded of things.  A lot.  Especially by my Papa. 

I make to-do lists.  If I don't write something down, I'm liable to forget it.  But then again, I can be so consumed with crossing off all the tasks that I forget why it's important that I do it all in the first place.  I loose my focus.  

I'm human.  I'm incapable of surviving college, the work force, relationships, friendships, or just daily living without Someone to guide me.  

I love my family unconditionally.  I've been raised by parents who've set me up to succeed.  I have been blessed to have a sister to guide, to help, to prosper, to laugh with, and to sing Wicked with (she being Galinda and I, obviously being Elphaba).  

I have strong convictions, but I try my best not to judge.  There's a difference between knowing the truth and condemning others because they don't understand it.  I may not agree with what others do, but that is no excuse for me not to shower them with the love, mercy, forgiveness, and understanding I've been shown countless times by my family, friends, and Lord.  

I must constantly adapt my way of thinking.  Because I am human, and my sinful grossness gets in the way of my heavenly goals.  Much like Paul, what I want to do and what I end up doing don't always line up.  I want to live in perfect alignment in accordance to God's will, but I end up subconsciously giving into my own desires.  

I am me.  I am growing. I am changing.  I am being rewritten.