My Comfortor, My All in All

Two nights ago, I was driving on the highway, sobbing.  I almost had to pull over on the shoulder because I couldn't see though my tears.  I began calling out to God in the middle of my drive to school, quite literally.  

For some reason, this Easter evening, leaving home was as hard as it had ever been.  As I pulled away, house in my rear view mirror, I felt like a freshman, watching my parents walk out the door the first time.  I was broken.  So I started talking.  

Sometimes, when prayer gets real serious, I have to pray out loud.  I must've talked for thirty minutes.  About how I felt lost.  How I was scared I was graduating.  How I didn't know what the next steps held.  How I felt alone even though I knew I was surrounded by people.  How I didn't know if I wanted this life I feel God is calling me to.  

In the end, I realized I just wanted comfort.  I wanted to know without a doubt God was there for me, that He would love me and be with me forever.  I knew it in my head, but I couldn't feel it in my heart.  

"God," I said, tears finally coming to and end, "I just want to feel you here.  Physically.  Like, I just need you to find some way to let me feel your arms around you.  Because I know they're there, but I just need that physical comfort."  

Twenty four hours later was a completely different story.  I was driving home from a meeting, beaming and smiling.  My joy was endless.  Honestly, I couldn't believe the love I had for my brothers and sisters in Christ.  Though it was my last leadership meeting for our college ministry, I was hopeful.  I am fully confident those of us who are graduating are leaving the ministry  in fully capable hands.  I smiled even bigger as I thought about how they had prayed over us.  

Then my mouth fell open in shock.  

At the end of the meeting, our pastor of college students called the four of us who were there that were planning to graduate to stand in the middle.  The rest of the group surrounded us and laid hands on us.  I was covered and held in the arms of  the people I loved, my brothers and sisters.  

And now, twenty minutes later, I was realized that those arms were also the arms of my God.  My Father.  My Comforter.  

He loved me.  He created me.  He heard me.  And He comforted me.  

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God lives, He is alive today, and He is constantly courting my rebellious heart.  And I am thankful for it every day.  



If you'd like to hear more about what God has done for me, feel free to contact me in the comments below or at my facebook/twitter if you know me.  What can I do after such a joyful, personal experience but talk about it, ya know?