Dementors

They're on campus. I swear.

For those of you who don't know, I am a huge Harry Potter fan/nerd/obsessed freak.  Like, a lot of my childhood, all of my adolescence, and so far all of my young adulthood has incorporated in some way Harry Potter.  Between my Roomie and I, there are nine HP posters in our dorm room.  I have five wands, two horcruxes, and countless other memorabilia.  I even have dreams about Harry Potter, usually about once every two or three weeks.  

So, naturally, when things happen, I tend to correlate them to Harry Potter.  Including right now.

It seems as if all of my friends are going through a lot right now.  Mentally, emotionally, spiritually.  Everything.  And me too.  I just have a sort of heaviness inside of me, one that can't be shaken off.

So naturally, it must be Dementors.  I think we all just need to sit down and eat a bunch of chocolate.  Because it helps.  Lupin said so.  

But in all honesty, I think we all need to turn back to the One who can sustain us.  Because only He can give us rest from whatever's making us weary.  Dementor or otherwise.  

In Case of Zombies, RUN!!!

So, lately I've been thinking an awful lot about zombies, mostly because I've been watching the Walking Dead now that it's returned.  And my school started it's semi-annual game of Humans Vs. Zombies (which I did NOT participate in).  And later this year there will be a 2 mile Zombie run in my city where you have to run with flag football flags on and get past all the zombies without letting them take your flag.  And I might have purchased and currently be playing a video game involving zombies... 

Anyway, I've been giving a lot of thought to what I myself might do in a zombie apocalypse.  It's a troubling thought because I know that I myself am not very athletic and therefore my chances are already slimmer than those of my sports-enjoying counterparts.  So, the following is my plan for if/when zombies attack. I call it:

Kailyn's Super Awesome Zombie Apocalypse Plan

1) Grab ALL the protein bars --- In every zombie thing I've seen, the survivors always struggle to find food.  I feel like protein bars would be a good thing to have on hand.  Plus, they're light.

2) Get a hand gun, LOTS of ammo, and a knife/screwdriver/other sharp object --- The next biggest priority is to get weapons to kill the zombies with.  I don't think I'll have the expertise to be able to shoot a bigger gun, so a hand gun will work well, plus it's light.  Then, for tight spots, I can use the sharp object to get the zombies in the head.  I thought about getting a heavy blunt object to bash in heads, but I want to travel lightly.  So, that's why I'm choosing to go with the knife.

3) Find and befriend a doctor/nurse/medical student/veterinarian --- In every zombie scenario EVER, people get injured fighting off the undead.  Therefore, since I have no idea how to treat anything other than a small scrape (ointment and a band-aid , I need to partner with someone who understands how to treat people and/or animals that are injured.  

4) Find more people to trust, and STICK WITH THEM NO MATTER WHAT THAT IS IT! --- In all the zombie things I've watched, the trouble really starts once the group starts to turn on each other, or when they split into separate groups.  Also, let's be honest, I'm gonna be a wreck emotionally.  But, if I have someone I have to take care of or help survive, I'm gonna be more likely to keep a cool head.  I'm a nurturer, so if I have someone to nurture, I'll be more likely to survive myself.

5) DO NOT,  try to go and track down your family --- Now, don't get me wrong, I am super duper close to my family, and I will be worried sick. But in every zombie thing I've seen, once they go to far off cities looking for family, they get in trouble and their numbers shrink by like half.  So, I'll just have to hope and pray that it all works out for us.  

6) Find a secure place (preferably with food and water) to hunker down and wait this thing out --- This could be a remote farm, a reinforced super market, a bomb shelter, a former prison, etc.

7) Follow your instinct --- if someone seems like a crazy mad scientist, a trigger happy deserter, or a cannibalistic farm family, they probably are.  Do. Not. Trust. Them.  Ever.

8) Do not enter into a seemingly preordained, perfect-even-in-the-circumstances-of-killer-zombies relationship --- because at least one member of the cute couple always dies.  ALWAYS.  

9) Always be on the lookout --- For food, for weapons, for zombies, for anything.  

10) When in doubt, just RUN --- do I really have to explain this one? For goodness sake, there are ZOMBIES AROUND!

And that's what I've got so far.  I think it's a pretty solid plan.  Hopefully I'll never have to test it. Because let's be honest, I'll never really make it in a zombie apocalypse.  With my luck, I'll be the first one infected. *sigh*

Revelations on Hunger.

So, I have this friend [who shall henceforth go unnamed, but he knows who he is and probably so do most of my friends, sooo... *shrug*].  Whenever we hang out, it seems of late, he's always trying to get me to eat food.  And not healthy food, like brownies and cookies and Chinese donuts and lots and lots of carbs [which I need no help eating since I have a bit of a love affair with all the carbs].  I joke and say that he's bad for my health.  In fact, the last time we studied at the library, he attempted to encourage me to eat an egg roll stuffed inside of the day old bread I bought from Jimmy Johns.  Who does that?  

Anyway, as he was trying to push his unwanted food on me, I began thinking.  Almost every time he tries to make me eat food, I start out by saying no.  By the end of the time we've been hanging out, I've compromised and eaten at least a little bit of what he's been pushing on me. In this case, I ended up taking the egg roll back to my room and eating it just before bed [the day old bread was finished off for breakfast this morning].  

But the whole idea sort of got me thinking.  This is the sort of thing we go through every day.  We as humans are constantly hungering.  We hunger for God, but we often try to fill it with something else.  Even as Christians, we are constantly at odds with ourselves.

And then there's Satan.  He sits there, constantly telling us to eat the "cookie".  Just give in to what you really want, and it'll all be over.  He promises to leave us alone if we just satisfy ourselves instead of honoring God with our lives.

And, often times, I find myself giving into that urge, compromising myself and choosing to do a little bit of what I want and a little bit of what I know God wants for me.  And in the end, I'm left unsatisfied and still plagued by the rest of what the world has to offer.  Just like when I take a little bit of what my friend tries to force-feed me.  

I guess that's something I need to work on.  And it looks like it's gonna be a life-long process.  Because my selfishness will ALWAYS want to eat that darn cookie, or egg roll, or whatever in order to get short-lived, yet immediate satisfaction.  

I just have to remind myself that one day, in the future I can't foresee  my God has got an awesome feast up there waiting for me, better and more satisfying than I could ever imagine.  

... What?

And that's about all I could say when all of the pieces fit together tonight.  

Today was just a weird day.  I didn't go to choir practice (which is weird for me, I hardly ever miss) because I had a last minute assignment that had to be completed today because it involved going to a museum.  I thought I lost my rain coat that I got in the mail less than 24 hours ago, but ended up finding it in the same spot I left it over 12 hours before (uh... sorry Momma... at least I found it, right?).  On top of all that, I almost slept in too late this morning, which threw off my whole schedule.  

And then came tonight.  I had been dreading it a little bit, because I had set it aside to do something very important: BStud planning.  

You see, tomorrow night, as my co-leader is unable to be there, I will be leading my girl's Bible study.  Alone.  For the first time ever.  

You could say I'm a little nervous.  

We're going to be talking about friendships and having community in our group tomorrow.  I guess I felt ok about the topic itself.  I tend to have many good, healthy friendships, so I feel quite authoritative on the subject.  But the thought of leading alone still gave me the chills.  I wasn't sure I could handle it.  

Earlier in the week, I had picked out an article from the website we get all our resources from.  I had skimmed it, liked it, and bookmarked it to use.  Tonight, I printed it off, and got to reading.

And that's when it began to get weird.  

I remembered this stuff.  Like, I had gone over it before. And not in a "oh, I've heard about having good community a million times in church" sort of going over, but a "I've used these same exact terms before" sort of going over.  

I kept reading, and got to a chart in the article.  I began to freak out.  I remembered copying down this chart.  I ran over to my drawers and got out my notebook from last year (long since filled up).  I flipped a few pages, and stopped cold.  Sure enough, it was there.  

Upon further investigation, I realized that not only was that carefully copied into my notes, but that I had done so on October 13, 2011.  Almost a full year ago.  Curious, I flipped to the next page, which had notes from last year's Fall Retreat.  

This weekend is Fall Retreat this year.  So, a year ago, the week before Fall Retreat, I had studied the same lesson I was about to teach to my girls before they go to Fall Retreat.  

Also, after more investigation of my notes, I was hit by another realization: that was the first week I had brought my notebook to BStud.  October 13th was the first time I took notes.  

I was shocked and overcome with joy.  I even vaguely remembered a year ago, getting ready to head to Bible Study, thinking "Oh, maybe I should bring my notebook.  I can use some of this stuff later."  Little did I know...

So I'm not so nervous anymore.  Because not only have I already got a ton of notes on this exact lesson, but I know now I am not leading alone.  I'm leading under my Bible study leaders from last year who poured themselves into our group.  And, more importantly  I am being led by God through all areas of life, and who's plan is much bigger than I could ever comprehend. 

Because honestly, who else would have thought that a couple pages of notes would make that much of a difference?