I am numb outside, but a ball of pain on the inside.
To look around me on an average day, it hurts to see the pain of those around me. Their loneliness. Their heartache. Their pain.
But today? It hurts even more. Families totally torn apart. Small children who are gone in a second. So many questions. Not nearly enough answers. Confusion that may never go away.
Our world is broken. It is totally dark, dying, infected and decayed. There's no one who can deny that.
What people seem so keen to deny is our world's need for a Savior. Someone not of us, so not tainted by our infection, yet one of us who completely understands and identifies with us.
I don't understand why this happened, so close to the holiday season. I don't know why someone my own age would ever think the answer to his own problems would be to kill 20 young children. I don't know why so many have to deal with the ramifications of this for their lives. I don't know why the most innocent, the most precious of people in our world had to go so soon.
I do know that it hurts God a million times more than it hurts me. He hates that His precious children have to go through such disease and muck in this world. He created a world that He called good, but now it is tainted by a curse we ourselves brought upon us.
But He loved us enough to give us a way out. He came to earth Himself to take on all the muck, the mire, the grime, even though He didn't have to. And finally, He died in atonement for our sin. He took our place and died for us, so we didn't have to suffer eternally.
I will be in prayer for the families affected today. If I could, I would hug each and every one of them. But I know God is with them, even if they choose to turn away from Him. He loves us enough to stick with us through everything.
I just pray, in this Christmas season, through their heartache they can see the arms of Him who came, 2,000 years ago as a baby Himself, waiting to surround them in comfort and peace.
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